Beliefs that hurt us: “Deserving”

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Continuing the series about beliefs that are not really recommended for our well-being, today I want to talk about “deserving.”


We say that we deserve that job, we deserve a better life, we deserve to find a partner,…


And here I’m going to be harsh: Who says that we deserve that? How do you know that you deserve it? The answer to the first question is probably, “I say that I deserve it.” And the answer to the second will be a series of arguments also created by you.


What I’m trying to get you to see is that as you make your bed so you must lie on it. You’ve staged the film, you’ve decided what’s fair and what’s unfair… and you’ve set yourself up to have a hard time.


Why? Because the world is as it is and you have what you have. Getting hung up on or holding on to what you believe is fair or unfair isn’t going to help much. It’s an idea of yours, about how things have to be. You hold on to that idea, and you’re separated from the world, from reality… and that is a breeding ground for suffering.


Does it mean that you have to stop trying to get what you want? Not at all. Keep fighting to get what you want. But holding on to false ideas about how unfair the world is isn’t going to help you. On the contrary, it will only serve to make you feel sorry for yourself, to block you, to stop you…


Look at the world just as it is, and devote your energy to trying to get what you want, but with a good attitude, with enthusiasm. Thoughts about what you deserve, in the back of your mind, have only brought you anguish and a lack of well-being… Or am I wrong?

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