Resolving Relationship Problems in Couples (Couples Mediation)
For couples, I offer a flexible and effective program based on intensive sessions (2-3 hours approx.), that provides the needed support to solve the conflicts in the relationship. We can have just one intensive session or several of them, with support between sessions in that case.
These intensive sessions are recommended in situations such as:
- One member of the couple is not sure whether he or she wants to stay in the relationship/marriage or not.
- There is long-term breakdown in communication, and the couple cannot overcome it.
- The same arguments and disagreements are repeated over and over again, and the couple does not know how to get past them
- The possibility of separation or divorce has been brought up.
- There are other individuals who are threatening the relationship, and the stability of the couple has been strained.
- One partner has been unfaithful, and now the couple is in crisis.
- Nothing is like it was before, and no one is pleased with decisions that have been made.
- And, in general, any given circumstance that is perceived as a problem by the couple.
The way I do couples mediation is based on intensive couple sessions that are 2 to 3 hours long, letting between 2 and 4 weeks go by between sessions, if more than one is necessary. If we have several sessions, I include support between sessions by phone, email, and messages, which helps to settle differences and relieves the emotional burden.
We would start with an intensive session
As I mentioned, the intensive sessions are the “heart” of my mediation for couples. So we would start by having an intensive session (about 3 hours in total) in person that would have 4 parts:
With this method, I delve into the core issues that make up the problems in the relationship and the expectations and desires of each partner. And, most importantly, several weeks or months are not necessary to be able to propose a plan of action for changing the situation of the couple.
And if we need more sessions, we’ll meet every 3 or 4 weeks and the session will be shorter
The idea is that in the sessions many things will be discovered and many commitments and agreements will be worked out in the couple. You have to experience them for a period of time and see how you feel about them. After the session we will decide when to see each other again, if necessary. Normally, if there is another session, it’s 2 to 4 weeks later, and the session will be shorter.
Additional support between sessions, if needed
If at the end of the intensive session we agreed that it would be good to have more sessions, the couple would have my support between the intensive sessions through:
- Text or WhatsApp
- Phone calls of up to 15 minutes.
The person chooses which means they prefer using and when. This type of support would serve to provide relief if there is emotional tension or to get guidance in situations where you don’t know what to do without having to wait weeks or days until the next session. It will allow us to address what’s going on when the situation is more recent and the emotions are current. This makes the support process much more effective. I can’t guarantee an immediate response, but I try to do it as soon as possible. Normally in less than 24 hours.
What are the advantages of this program in comparison with typical sessions of 50 minutes per week?
The main advantages are:
- By making sessions longer, there is enough time to discover and explore the root of the couple’s problems and to find the key to getting out of the situation the couple finds themselves in.
- There is a confidential, individual time for each partner: to say what they think and feel without fear, to discover what they really want and need. The individual needs of each member of the couple are fundamental in this process.
- As there is no need for us to see each other every week, it’s easier to find time for the three of us to see each other. And to make it even easier, I also offer sessions on the weekends.
- There is continuous support, not just when we see each other. New technologies (phone, email, and message) help make it so that you don’t have to wait until our next appointment and allow for addressing situations or discomfort that occurs in everyday life, if necessary.
What if we want a shorter session?
No problem. An intensive session is my suggestion but if it doesn’t work for you or you prefer something different, just contact me and we’ll discuss other options.
My partner doesn’t want to come with me to the session. What do I do?
To address couple issues, it is best if both members come, but if your partner doesn’t want to attend, it is good for you to consider having individual sessions. After all, you are having a hard time and individual sessions will help you feel better, make up your mind, and know what to do. Your own personal work will make your situation change. Do not hesitate to contact me and discuss this issue, if you want.