Resolving conflicts is one of the most common issues that a couple seeks professional help for. That’s why I thought it interesting to comment on and share some points that John Gottmann mentioned in an interview in Psychotherapy Networker, a magazine for psychologists and psychotherapists.   For those who haven’t heard of him, Dr. John
We all like to tell ourselves stories about how our life is going to be tomorrow, the following week, in two years, or when we accomplish something. About who we are, about what our role is going to be as a partner, as a father or mother, as a professional,…   Those stories are nothing

How to overcome infidelity

You find out: Your partner has been unfaithful to you. The world is crashing down on you. You’re in pain. You’re furious. You don’t know how to go on. You have mixed feelings about staying in the relationship or giving up on it. If you have kids, things are even more complicated…   If you’ve
Continuing the series about beliefs that are not really recommended for our well-being, today I want to talk about “deserving.”   We say that we deserve that job, we deserve a better life, we deserve to find a partner,…   And here I’m going to be harsh: Who says that we deserve that? How do
good relationship
People often are surprised that their relationship with someone close to them is not as good as they hoped. There is no connection, there is no trust, there is no intimacy, or support. They try things and nothing works. They feel lost and don’t know what to do.   After exploring many cases with many
The other day I read this passage:   Jean Cocteau. Poet, novelist, playwright, critic, and French filmmaker. And the last sentence caught my attention. The “reward of those who have no fear of discomfort.” Because that is what I try to accomplish with the people who work with me: for them to lose the fear
Whenever I talk about my sessions I like to stress that personal “work” must continue outside of them. In fact, it’s the most important part for me. In the sessions we can explore what happens to you, but the ultimate goal is for you to feel comfortable with your life. And that means changing things
You’ve tried to control your anger, but eventually you explode. You’ve tried not to be sad, but you end up in tears or you get asked if you’re all right. You’ve tried not to have sexual desires for other people, but you can’t get the fantasies out of your head. You try not to argue
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